Last night we had a big fat thunderstorm. At three o clock in the morning I woke up for two reasons: 1) 60 mile an hour winds, 2) Scout was not in our room. She was roaming around the house, looking for a safe place. Even with all of the wind blowing through the branches outside our window, even with the heavy rain, I could still hear her tags, as she walked through the house.
I coaxed her back into our bedroom, scratched under her chin, patted her side. My side of the bed is by the window, so she didn't want to stay. The storm showed no signs of letting up.
Stepson had to get up at 4:00, be to work at the Farmers Market at 5:00. For awhile everyone was up, including the dog. We couldn't get back to sleep.
This morning I expected some of the hot humid weather to have cleared away. There were small branches strewn all over the road. And some of the rain was still shaking out of the branches. In the middle of the sunshine, every once in awhile there would be a gush of rain, startling the dog.
At church I found out that some people had no electricity this morning. There were some stop lights out, gnarling traffic. And it's still hot and humid.
My brain needs a good thunderstorm. There's a thickness, a humidity, hanging over it. I am working on projects, but don't seem to be making any progress. I want everything to fit into neat little boxes, be easily resolved, so that I can go on to the next thing.
In the meantime, there are the little things that came up that I didn't expect: no one prepared communion for tonight, so I did it. What's the psalm tone? The organist always chose one. The substitute wanted to know. Could I copy the psalm for her? Little things.
We got a good, hard rain again tonight. Really hard. Husband said the power went out across the street. A tree branch is down. Meanwhile, we are having problems with our internet. We might need a new router. I'm not even sure what a router is, but it appears to be essential.
7 comments:
The part about things in little boxes reminds me of somebody in my life. I've come to the conclusion that she puts things in little boxes even if they are the wrong boxes because she can't live with facts, thoughts, floating untethered. Tuck away the random thoughts and observations so they don't get in the way. She's a Lutheran. We're supposed to be good at living in the tensions........and comfortable with the mysteries, but I guess not for her. Too compulsive.
Diane, hang in there. Transition is hard. I know someone who wants to put things in little boxes too-I look at her every morning in the mirror. Sometimes the box turns out really wrong. It is easier to talk about living in the tensions when it is someone else, I've found. For different reasons I share what you are expressing right now. That's why I put the new dog quote on my blog. May peace come to you.
There is so much energy in thunderstorms, so much power, and both beauty and destructiveness. Peace to you in working to unpack the boxes.
"My brain needs a good thunderstorm." That's a great description for how I've been feeling, too. Be good to yourself, Diane.
Ohhh, we got that same thunderstorm a short while later. The weather report even said that it "popped" up in Minneapolis and blew down here. It was a doozy....
And I too struggle when I need to get things done but more stuff comes along and everything feels like it's in a state of half done...however there usually comes a day when all those half finished things are actually all done. I relish that moment...hope you have yours soon!
Yup, major storm here as well. Our dog doesn't like them either, but seems to cope a little better than he used to.
I know the feeling of working but not feeling like you're making progress. I hope things will change for you soon.
Rowan tries to get on top of me during a storm. If I am sleeping, he will lay right across my head. His vet said that it is his way of owning and thus protecting me. Of course, it is also his way of annoying me. But, it's still a gesture of such sweetness... this little dog trying to protect his big human.
I hear your frustration. I don't like little boxes though. I like my issues to be able to breath free and so I scatter them across the wasteland of my mind, get a good look at them, and then roll around on them so see how they feel, and what I can really make of them. Not much gets resolved that way, i know. I know people who use the boxes. They have very organized minds. They seem so sure of things. I envy that.
I hope it all comes together for you the way you want it to... and soon!
Give Scout some pets for me.
Lindy
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