Tuesday, August 14, 2007

I hate death


B died yesterday. It was just the beginning of June when she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. At first, she thought she had had a stroke. But it turned out to be this, instead. We didn't know, that first day, how serious it would be. We held hands. We waited for the doctor. We prayed. We wanted to hear his advice, the next course of action. The next week B had surgery. After that, she had radiation. She had therapy for a little while, to try to walk again. But, as her daughter said, "the tumor won." She was 75. Her funeral is Friday.

She got over 300 cards while she was in the hospital, and in the nursing home.

I hate death.

I cling to the promise of the resurrection. Sometimes, that's all we have.

23 comments:

mompriest said...

diane, I am so sorry. Death is really hard. From 2003-2006 I lost about 25% of my parish to death. Some young, some old, some sudden, some after prolong illness. So. I am so very sad at your loss. Yes. The Resurrection is a hope to hope for.

Will you preside or preach at her funeral?

Barbara B. said...

I'm at a loss to say anything except I'm sorry too. :(

DogBlogger said...

So sorry for your loss, Diane.

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

oh diane... yuck. what a trying emotional week ahead. we have the best hope of all so may you preach it lound & long. we will pray...

Gannet Girl said...

I am so sorry, Diane.

Katherine E. said...

A heart hug to you, Diane.

LawAndGospel said...

Diane, thinking of you. Hard to see but the tumor did not win, B did. Resurrection victory is the hope we all cling to.

kim said...

Oh, I am so sorry. There is just no easy way around these losses. But...what lawandgospel said? I HAVE to cling to and believe in that; it is the ONLY true comfort. If there is anything I can do...

Presbyterian Gal said...

Diane,
I am sorry you are sad. (((Diane)))

Rowan The Dog said...

I am sorry for your loss and your current frustrations.

Lindy

Diane said...

yes, I am presiding and preaching.

Jiff said...

Diane,
It is so important to take care of yourself when you are grieving.
Parishoners are part of your life and your heart. This week may not be the time, but do take time soon for a long walk, a cup of tea in memory of B, whatever does your heart good. I hope you'll take some time for yourself and your healing.

I hate the suffering that sometimes precedes death and the grief death leaves behind.
I depend upon the promise of glad reunion in the life to come.

Marsha said...

Diane,

I'm sorry for your loss Diane. I will pray that you will find the perfect words for her service and that the assurance of life everlasting will see you and B's family through this time.

Marsha

Mary Beth said...

I'm so sorry for this loss in your life. Blessings as you move through the week, and weeks to come.

Kievas said...

It's hard to see through the darkness, but there is the hope of eternity. As you said, sometimes that's all we have.

Grandmère Mimi said...

Diane, I am so sorry. May B rest in peace and rise in glory. May God grant consolation and peace to her family and to all who loved her.

Today we lost one of our long-time parishioners, a very hard worker for the church. She fought a long, hard fight against colon cancer, but she died this morning.

RevDrKate said...

(((Diane))) Prayers to you in this time of sadness. Take care of yourself.

Pastor David said...

My deepest sympathies. I often find funerals difficult, and discover that I get quite emotional during funeral sermons -- and all the more so when there is a strong connection with the person. You will be in my prayers.

Songbird said...

So sorry to hear of your loss, Diane.

Serena said...

You're in my prayers!

Randi said...

Hi Diane - Randi's mom here...I'm so sorry to hear about your friend...there are never any appropriate words..nothing that conveys the pure feeling...so what I will do is pray...pray for your & for B's family.
Love,
Randi's mom

more cows than people said...

(((diane))) i'm way behind on my fave blogs. but i'm out here. thinking of you. with love.

Max Rainey said...

Me hate death too. Death can bite my shiny queer ass.
And it does, every time.
[blows loud wet raucous raspberry at stinky Death]
yours in the struggle,
max

ps please don't take offense at the "Q" word and the "A" word... a while back, you expressed what I took to be frustration at your persistent PG rating--so i'm just trying to help. In my own small way. queerqueerqueerqueer
love,
m.