Lent is Not Self-Help

I'm spectacularly bad at giving things up for Lent.

Truthfully, I'm pretty bad at any sort of regular Lenten discipline at all, except going to Wednesday evening services, which is required because I am the pastor.  I keep thinking that it would be good if we got one of those cardboard banks for Lent and practiced giving a special offering for a particular cause, but I haven't gotten around to doing it.  One of these years...

But I digress.  Mostly, this is about my inability to give something up for Lent.  Partly this is a failure of imagination:  as Lent draws hear,  I think:  what would be a good thing for me to give up this year?  And most of the time, I can't come up with anything that I would consider interesting.  There was one year that I gave up buying books for Lent, which turned out to be excruciating, which means it was a good idea.  Right?

I also remember one Wednesday morning early when I was taking the garbage out to the curb.  It was a snowy, icy, cold morning in Minnesota, and suddenly I realized that it was Ash Wednesday (which I did actually know) and that I did not know what I was going to give up for Lent.  And I thought, what if I get rid of one thing a day for forty days?  That was a really good idea, theologically, I had to admit.  But logistically, it was not as easy as it sounded.  Bags of things accumulated before I got them to the thrift store.

Most of the time though, I don't manage giving something up for Lent.  It was not a part of my practice growing up.  I don't automatically think of it.  I don't think it's a bad idea, though.  I like the idea of finding some special way to mark the forty days before Easter.

I think that one of my problems is that when I think about what I should give up, it's usually something bad for me.  Like sugary treats, or potato chips, or soda (although I don't drink soda, so there's that.)  Then I start thinking of Lent as some sort of self-improvement project, a way to lose weight, or change a bad habit, at least temporarily.

Don't get me wrong:  I think changing bad habits is a good idea.  I think becoming healthier is a great idea.

I just don't think that's what Lent is for.

I think that Lent is more about failure than success.  Maybe the point about giving things up (if you do) is not to be so good at it.  Maybe the point is to come face to face with the grace of God, the grace that only failures need.  All of you who can make it on your own need not apply.

Lent is about getting ready for Easter, getting ready for not only Jesus' resurrection, but our own.  I am not sure what is the best way to get ready for that, except living and paying attention, and being honest.

Leafy Greens for Lent

One year as a young adult, I decided I was going to give up one meal a day for Lent. It seemed right and pious to me at the time, to eat a little less for the sake of the greater glory of God. I wasn't that experienced in Lenten fasting. I didn't grow up with the tradition of self-denial, although some years there was a cardboard church on our dinner table during Lent: our almsgiving. To be truthful, I'm not sure what I expected to gain by losing my one meal a day, either: I don't remember thinking that I would set aside the savings, and give to a particular cause.

I was visiting a friend in Chicago during my "fast," and mentioned to her what I was doing. Her only comment was: "I hope you are getting enough leafy greens!" She wasn't impressed at all.

I still have trouble figuring out what to give up for Lent. I figure it should not be something too easy to do without. I don't drink much soda; I like chocolate but I'm not addicted to it; Potato chips would probably be a greater temptation. One of my friends gave up gourmet coffee for Lent one year. She had a cup every morning, and I think she really missed it, so that worked for her.

One year I gave up buying books for Lent. Not reading, like Lauren Winner did one year. Just buying books. That was actually the tougher temptation to resist, tougher actually than reading. I think that has been my best idea so far.

If giving up something for Lent makes me feel as if I am making a Small Improvement in my life, then it is a mistake. If giving up something for Lent makes me feel as if I am moving along in this life of faith, then it is a misbegotten endeavor. If giving up something for Lent only makes me feel healthier, slimmer, or more in control, then it feeds an illusion.

I think that the best Lenten fasts are the ones that leave a hole, a hunger and a thirst. The best Lenten fasts are the ones that make me realize the holes in my life, that I have been trying to fill with potato chips, leafy greens, books, or blogging, even. The best Lenten fasts make me realize that only God can fill the hole, quench my thirst, give me bread. Only God.