Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Waking up in a Strange Place

We were away, just overnight Sunday night, and I must have slept pretty well and deeply, because when I woke up, I had that feeling you get sometimes, "Where am I? How did I get here?" It took a few minutes to orient myself to reality, and to remember the events of the last twenty-four hours, including the worship services, the animal blessing service, the trip up to the City by the Great Lake, the dinner with Earnest Younger Stepson.

Our new organist played beautifully, with passion and proficiency. You really can't explain music, can you? I particularly liked the way he "played latin" on Cantad al Senor.

We all loved the Animal Blessing Service at my husband's church. If you have never heard Bill Staines' song, "All God's Critters Got a Place in the Choir", you have missed something fantastic. Scout liked getting blessed, but she loved meeting and sniffing the dogs more, I think. She's been a little skittish around people the last day or so. We don't know why.

We went home long enough to throw a few things in a bag, and then we headed up to to the Great Lake City, where we delivered a few things to Stepson #2. I didn't look much at leaves because I spent more of the trip up reading our book club book, Giants in the Earth. I'm glad I'm re-reading it; it was far beyond me in high school. But I will say that it is a challenging book for a busy September. It has made me think about courage and community and hardship.

So yesterday morning I felt that "waking up in a strange place" disoriented feeling.

I can't seem to shake it, totally.

No, I really know where I am: that's not it. But I can't get over a strange, disoriented feeling. It's partly the economic news. On the radio on the way home, a talk show host was saying, "If things are so bad, why did I see everybody out to the restaurants, and Home Depot, and grilling in their back yard this weekend, just like nothing was happening? What's that about?"

He had a point. I just have a feeling that there is another shoe left to drop, and I can't quite articulate what it is.

But it's not just the economy. It's a sense of the church, and the spiritual life and health there, where I am a leader, where I am responsible for inspiring people, and helping them to see God in their lives, and equiping them to live grace-ful lives: not just for an hour on Sunday, but every day.

I always thought that this blog would help me with that. I love to write. I need to write.

But, I think I need to take a break.

21 comments:

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

be good to yourself diane! it happens... this disorientation. i think it's about taking care of ourselves... beyond eating our veggies & getting enough exercise & sleep...

you named it. it's about soul-tending. may your well be replenished... so that living waters may once again flow from you to those you care for.

ProclaimingSoftly (PSanafter-thought) said...

I've been unable to figure out what day it is lately when I wake up. That's a problem because I don't know what to worry about. (not really.)

Yeah, the people are still spending, at least the ones out and about. Then in the fall when we all have our stewardship drives we'll be told that there is no money.

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

Sorry, I'm feeling dense. Does your last sentence mean you're going to be away from blogging for a while? Or that you're considering it? I don't mean to be picky. I'm just not sure what to respond.

Whichever it is, take care of yourself and do what your heart tells you that you need to do.

Border Explorer said...

Yes, do what is best for you, Diane. How beautiful this post--the analogy of waking up "in a strange place." And how life sometimes feels like that. Peace to you.

Kievas said...

We could use an animal blessing service, except F would probably be too interested in the other animals :)

Sometimes, a break really helps.

FranIAm said...

Take a break Diane- we will be waiting here for you with great love, whenever you wish to return.

Magdalene6127 said...

I echo Fran... I know I don't comment here often, but I deeply value your wisdom and insight and love.

We'll be here, praying for you... and for all of us.

CJWille said...

I understand the niggling in the back of thoughts that maybe there is something more, or something missed. I had to do what a friend in recovery recommended, I took one step to the left and turned 30 degrees to get a different perspective on my faith life. I am hopeful that a new community can inspire me and draw me out as I've missed "something" for awhile. I'll stop by just to let you know I'm still here.

DogBlogger said...

What franiam said.

Jiff said...

I get this.
Do what you need to do.
I hope you come back to us, though. I love what you write!

zorra said...

Take as long as you need, Diane. I pray for peace and guidance for you.

Barbara B. said...

yes, take care of yourself

beth said...

I'm feeling the same way; waiting for another shoe to drop. I'm thankful to read your words here, because they really resonate with me.

Shoes DO keep dropping here; we have suffered the loss of two more young people in our community due to a traffic accident. That's six untimely deaths in the past four months that have really rocked our world. Violence, murder, accidents.

Sometimes it seems to be too much, and then we find more right around the corner.

I feel disoriented, too. Thanks for helping me know that I am not alone.

LawAndGospel said...

Sometimes it feels like the well has run dry, literally and spiritually. And I am with you that there seem to be disconnects around us.You are in my prayers for peace and restoration. Whether you write for yourself or to share, may you find solace.

mompriest said...

NOOOOOO....say it's not so....sigh...Ok...rest well....come back as soon as you are able..sigh...

Rev SS said...

Ditto Mompriest ... and Fran et al. I, too, will miss you, and hope you're back soon.

RevDrKate said...

Yes, you are right, there is something going around, coming around...hope you are not away from us too long, if you are away. I, like others would miss your voice. Just gave you a little blogging award over at my place to testify to that very thing. Peace to you, take care of yorself.

Border Explorer said...

Diane, I've got something for you over at my place.

It is an expression of gratitude and respect; it's not meant to interrupt your blog-hiatus. Take the time you need. And if you never return, well, I'm still grateful for what has been and that I was able to participate in it.

Jan said...

Missing you. Love.

Pastor David said...

Take your break, as needed. I have taken many, quite extended, breaks from blogging. At times, it just didn't fit into my priorities of time - regardless of how much I enjoyed it. You will know when it is time for you to return.

Until then, you are in my prayers.

Choralgirl said...

Left you a little surprise today. Come see! :-)