Work

Before I became a pastor, I did a lot of different things. I know my experience is not as varied as some (I never waitressed, for example, knew I would be bad at it). But I did learn some things.

During college... Iworked for two temporary agencies, Employers Overload and another, smaller agency. I took a typing test, typed fast but with lots of mistakes (because I was nervous). The smaller agency took a chance on me anyway, assigned me typing jobs (more money). EO assigned me to other kinds of jobs, including 1) serving coffee and cold drinks at the exclusive investor's lounge in a bank, and 2) filling little plastic bags with pieces of jewelry. I re-took the typing test the next summer, did better, and got better jobs.

Someone scolded me once at the Bank because they didn't think I hustled fast enough to get coffee and cold drinks for the ritzy people who had a lot of money in the bank. They were probably right. I am not a good hustler. I felt contrite, beat myself up, vowed to do better.

I had another job, typing invoices all day, at a company that turned out to be owned by the uncle of a classmate of mine. They didn't ask me back after one day, because the boss thought I was "too slow". My classmate informed him that I had gotten the most invoices done of anyone they had hired. But somehow I didn't look fast.

I once had a job over a school break, where I sat in an office and typed on little index cards of different colors, all about meat. Pink was pork, blue was chicken, green was steak. They didn't have a typewriter desk or chair, so I sat at a table on a chair stacked with phone books. At the end of the week, they asked me if I wanted a job. I guess they thought I was fast enough. I was grateful to be able to tell them I was going back to college.

Lessons: sometimes when you are criticized, it really is something you did. We are not all good at everything. Nobody's perfect. We can all do better. Sometimes, it's just perception, or they are crazy. And sometimes, we do a really good job, really rise to the occasion, doing something awful. And, a variety of work experiences gives us a realistic assessment of ourselves, not perfect, but not awful either, both falling short and excelling -- in due season.

bad back

Today I'm holed up in my office, because it hurts to move. I did something nasty to my back (doctor says "muscle spasms") at the confirmation retreat (something about "they're 15 -- you're 50". I didn't feel fifty, but today I feel like I'm about 80. As I was getting ready to head out the door this morning, the dog brought me a couple of her toys, as if to say, "Why don't you just stay home and play with me?"

A tylenol with codeine is sitting on my desk. Should I take it? Or not? Will it help? I took a really strong pain killer and muscle relaxant last night, and slept better, but it still hurt whenever I moved.

So today is "office day". I can't deal with going to visit people and limping up to their rooms, bent over. I should have a cane. I'm going to organize and make phone calls and think a lot. Someone once said that being a pastor is one of the few jobs where you get paid to read and to think. So I'll read and think... and call some people... oh, and maybe clean my office... organize the piles, throw out whatever has an ancient date on it.


I'm thinking "I'm not used to this." I've never been that athletic, but I've always been pretty healthy. So, I'm not used to not being able to do the dishes, or walk the dog, or lift anything. Maybe, as well, I haven't been very patient with people who can't just get up and do whatever they want, whenever they want to. Maybe this is what it's like for the older people who tell me, "I just don't feel good." They often aren't specific about their ailments -- they just say, "I don't feel good."

Yesterday before I went to the doctor, I got lots of good advice from the older people who go to our Matins service every Wednesday. One of them told me, "The doctor will say, 'it's the effects of aging.'"